Dangers to be considered before you Consult a Lay Spiritual Director!

Due to the critical shortage of priests many people are looking for spiritual direction by consulting lay directors who often charge a fee. Warning, paying for a lay spiritual director is something to stay away from and may be dangerous to your spiritual health. A spiritual director is not typically necessary in the beginnings of the spiritual life and if God has not blessed you with one it is because you do not need one yet. There is a lot of hard work to do first that a good confessor can help you with. 

The benefit of a priest being the director is that he has the "Grace of State". He has the charism to direct souls as an alter Christus. These so called "lay spiritual directors just do not have that. Nor can they hear confessions when a moment of truth takes place during a session. Just go to confession, you will receive the real Sacrament, through a priest in persona Christi. This is much more advantageous then discussing your sins with a lay director.

 In confession, Jesus himself will help and strengthen you to free yourself from your sinful tendencies and attachments. Best of all, there is no charge for this except to fulfill the penance after absolution. For beginners in the Purgative Way the confessional is not an option and really all one needs. A person who is just beginning to take the spiritual life seriously in most cases needs frequent confession to overcome all mortal and deliberate venial sin. This growth process can take many years depending on the generosity of the soul.

Then there is the confidentiality issue. I am sure that many non-ordained people can keep quiet about
situations for a time. More often than not I have found non ordained, (especially women) divulging their secrets and betraying confidences of clients and friends. Spiritual direction is not counseling for psychological problems and it is definitely not a trendy social gathering for the wanna be spiritual elites. 

Yes Priests can and have failed to keep a confidence but for the most part they are strengthened by Christ and have a charism for silence and prudent speech due to their ministry as confessors. I will take a priest over a lay person always. 

God typically will not communicate mystical graces to a soul who still falls into mortal sin or deliberate venial sin.    If You are still falling into deliberate sin and receiving mystical phenomena, or locations, the source may not be from God. The devil can mimic the Holy Spirit. Recall that Moses when he appeared before Pharaoh God worked wonders through him to convince Pharaoh to let the people go. However Pharaoh’s magicians were able to duplicate the signs. 

In His Providence God often allows the evil spirits to duplicate mystical graces. This is a real danger in the spiritual life so it is necessary to discern the origin of the mystical communications. If one begins to receive mystical graces they must submit themselves in humble obedience to an experienced priest. Deception is always a real danger. Humble obedience frees you. If the communications are from God He will also work through your obedience. 


Beginners are in the purgative way and they must work to acquire prudence and develop their God given common sense. They need to work hard in order to mortify their unruly passions. A good confessor will be able to help them in this battle and encourage them to live out charity towards their neighbor through the practice of corporal and spiritual mortification. Many saints over the centuries became saints without a spiritual director. Imagine that! 


Today the fashion is to be led by a human spirit instead of the Holy Spirit. The saints advanced in obedience to their confessors who helped them discern the inspirations of the spirit. Don’t forget that in the past centuries transportation was not like it is today. You were stuck more or less in the area you lived and the only priest available was the parish priest. God gave that priest the necessary lights needed to help the saints fulfill His will.  He will do the same for us. We ought to have a similar trust that God can overcome the obstacles that may arise from His human representatives if we are obedient and practice humility.

Later, if God sees that the soul is generous and cooperates with His grace He may introduce them to the Illuminative Way, with its many forms of mystical graces, and corresponding dangers. It is here, if your confessor is not experienced, that he may suggest a spiritual director. If God is raising someone to a new level of intimacy, they will need an experienced priest who understands the sufferings and dangers of the Illuminative way. Here the priest must be able to discern "the spirits” lest the soul loses his way and falls into one of Satan's many snares. The devil will do all he can to prevent a soul from reaching Divine Union in the final stage of the spiritual life the Unitive Way. 

Since weak or slothful souls do not overcome their passions they can remain in the purgative way for many years. Many will die in this state and all of their defects will have to be purged in purgatory. God may allow such souls to be tried by the devil and they may experience some mystical phenomena in their life.  of the years they have practiced the spiritual life, they are more ready to believe they have arrived! It is possible to be deceived into thinking that you are capable of guiding others, when in fact; they are blinded by their own proud estimation of themselves as spiritual guides or gurus. If they have been honest with a regular confessor he will be able to uncover the rouse. If not, the sorry consequences arising from the deceptive errors can live on in the lives of others even after the death of the one who was initially deceived if the error is not uncovered and corrected. 

There is always a danger with lay directors who may not be fully qualified. They need knowledge of well trained catechists as well as experiential knowledge of living a good spiritual life themselves.  Some lay directors think they are more advanced in the spiritual life than they really are. They may consider themselves on the Illuminative Way, a stage in the spiritual life where few enter, although all are called. The greater number of souls do not do the battle that is required to overcome their passions. If that does not happen they could remain in the purgative way until their death. These individuals are prey for the devils snares and can cause a lot of damage to the unfortunate souls they direct.


For the directee subtle pride can simply be considering themselves better than others just because they have a director. I often here people bragging that they have spiritual directors as if it was a badge of honor placing them above those who are not as fortunate. How ready pride is to ensnare the soul.

I know several people who upon my first meeting with them they advertised the fact that they are lay directors looking for clients; "If you want help", she said; " I wont charge a lot since I know you" she said. allowed such a thing. Isn't it a form of simony?" She took me by surprise it was the first time I heard that this was taking place in the church and was even encouraged by pastors and bishops. 

Later upon reflection, I thought it was a little arrogant for her to assume she could help me with my spiritual life.  I wondered if people might end up paying for spiritual direction from someone who really isn't really qualified, or even from someone who is a dissenter from some or many aspects of the teaching of the Church. 

Another friend informed me that the "lay directors" in her parish didn’t appear to be competent enough to teach RCIA. You don't need that kind of direction from souls who may not be on the same page as the majesterium of the church. Many lay spiritual directors are involved in the charismatic movement. A movement often filled with mystical phenomena not always from the good spirit.

Remember, spiritual direction is not meant to be the only source of guidance. It is the Holy Spirit who is always the primary director of souls. Consulting your confessor, spiritual reading, faithfulness in your duties of prayer, and frequent participation in the sacraments, as well as frequent periods of silent meditation in order to hear the Divine whisper in your life. Everyone needs to practice these in order to grow in Divine Charity and advance in the spiritual life. We do not need to pay a lay spiritual director to tell us this! 

In summary, if we do the hard work that is required to mortify ourselves to hear God’s voice, we will find his light there, and move towards greater Divine intimacy. Those that are serious about their spiritual life may pray for God to put in their path a priest that they can open to. However if you are open and honest with a confessor he may be all you need.  You do not need a spiritual director in order to reach union with God. You do need honesty and humility. 

The Servant of God, Fr. John Anthony Hardon said many times: " Only the very chaste and very humble will be able to enter Heaven; No one else! No one else! No one else!" Jesus meek and humble of heart, Make my heart like unto thine. Sacred Heart of Jesus, Thy Kingdom Come!